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Enough is Enough


NOTE BEFORE READING: POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING

Let's end the taboo on sexual abuse! I know it's an uncomfortable subject for many but for it to still carry a stigma of silence and shame is just not right. From personal experience I know how healing it can be to just talk about it with someone you trust. To be able to pray about it. To not feel like you have this horrible ugly secret inside of you is a good thing so I'm all for helping to try to remove the subject from the "taboo" list. I feel very strongly about this, so much so that it's something I am not afraid to post about via blog and social media whether personal or business. (I feel the need to add that if you are personally not ready or comfortable with speaking your story, IT'S OKAY. You don't have to now or ever. It's completely your own decision and don't feel that anything is wrong with you no mater what choice you make.)

My mental health and depression struggle is very much tied to my background. The start of the ugly in my life was being molested as a child by an uncle. My memories start at around five or so years old and I finally put an end to it by yelling NO to my perpetrator at around 11 or 12. I suppose he realized I meant business and was not going to further allow him disrespecting and violating me. The thing is, I didn't speak about about the abuse until I was 18 years of age. I lived for all those years believing it was a secret I would die with but I believe that internalizing it for that long created some serious damage to my mental health and coping mechanisms. How could depression not come from living that way? I finally got professional help in my late twenties but now as I'm nearing 40 I can say that although I've come a long way in learning to manage my depression, it seems as though that is just the way my body and mind cope in life. It feels SO engrained in me that it is truly an everyday fight to not let my brain and mood get "stuck" and to use more positive coping skills. Why would I not speak out about sexual abuse and mental health? It's worth trying to prevent this evil cycle from being repeated. 


P.S. I very recently added to my personal facebook bio and posted to my friends and family about my abuse coming specifically from an uncle on my dad's side. I did that on purpose since many of the younger generation is on facebook, to finally have it be out in the open and hopefully stop it from happening again. Yes, the perpetrator got scared, contacted my dad and tried to blame it on me. Blaming a child for his sick actions is pathetic. Anyway, the younger generation has responded with great support and I truly believe this is a good start to at least ending the sexual abuse epidemic in my own family. I must say it has been one of the most healing steps in my healing process journey.



Comments

  1. I am so proud of you, Viviana! So many times our personal trials can be used to help others get through theirs. It is so unselfish of you to be willing to share such a dark period of your life. I can assure you, your openness and emotional generosity will empower anyone who may be struggling with the same battles, and it will encourage them to reach out and get help too. Keep up the good work, and keep up the fine fight!

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    1. Thank you so much Sheila. A big HUG to you!💞

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