It was a cold and dark night... just kidding. It was actually just a regular, normal week in my life of teeter tottering between positive and negative emotions, being sick of struggling with major depression and trying to be grateful for the (at that time practically non-existent) better days that I wakeup feeling content and ready to live the day to the fullest. But in the better moments of that week I found myself just ready, ready to do something, ready to do it. That IT being my idea to start an online boutique inspired by my love for roses and retro style. Sure, it was a bit scary but I also just remember being completely sure about what I was doing in those moments. Once I came up with the name Roses N Retro I jumped on getting my domain name for my website, started filling out business license forms, etc. You know, the fun stuff, NOT, haha.
So what led me to this sure moment of action you ask? ;) Despite that I was having a pretty good week motivation-wise, I do believe there was a reason behind that. I've had two major depression episodes in my life, I mean MAJOR where it's very hard to function. And on top of that, I regrettably also made it worse by taking too long to seek help by the way of medical attention. But in the end I did get the help I needed both times. This last time was not that long ago. In fact, it was a couple years ago that I hit rock bottom again (thankfully this time I was not suicidal but who knows if I hadn't gotten help). So, the year 2017 was basically focused on getting help and trying to get back to being "okay." As I was starting to feel more myself and some joy for life again, I noticed that I was making more of an effort to put myself together at the start of my day as far as "my look." It dawned on me that one of the tools I was using to manage my depression was fashion. I may not have truly felt like I had it in me to doll myself up since a lot of times it was a huge feat to just even brush my teeth, wash my face and get out of my pj's, but I had just enough motivation to push myself to put my hair up in a bun and add a hair scarf for some style, just enough mojo to put on some red lipstick :) and all those little things boosted my confidence and self-esteem to where wow, low and behold I actually felt a spark in me which quite honestly I think I got addicted to since I hadn't felt it in so long. I now like to say that I found my inner starlet!
Update: after a cross-country move a few months ago, I've decided to focus my energy on the mental health awareness side of Roses N Retro which for now means fundraising efforts and hopefully getting back to blogging. :)